Service · 02
Couples Therapy
For partners caught in a recurring conflict, a slow drift, or the live question of whether to stay or go. Depth-oriented work for two — in the room together in Mar Vista, or by secure video.
On the work
How I think about it.
Most couples who come to therapy already know the surface of their problem. The same fight, week after week. The withdrawal that follows the criticism that follows the unmet expectation. The pattern is familiar to both of them. What is harder to see is why it keeps happening — and what each of them is doing, often without quite meaning to, that keeps the loop alive.
Psychoanalytic couples work attends to that underneath. Not only to what is being said, but to what is being communicated — by the timing, by the tone, by the things that are conspicuously not being said. We notice the patterns each person brings from their family of origin, and the way those patterns find each other in the present relationship. That noticing changes what becomes possible.
I work with couples who are seriously trying to understand what is happening between them, whether the work leads them toward repair or toward a more conscious parting. Both outcomes are valid. What is not the goal of this work is talking either of you into something. The goal is clarity, deeper than either of you currently has.
When this might help
Signs worth taking seriously.
None of these on their own is a diagnosis. Together, they may be worth a conversation.
- 01
The same conflict keeps happening, in slightly different forms, and neither of you can quite stop participating in it.
- 02
One or both of you has begun to withdraw — emotionally, sexually, or both — and you cannot name what is in the way.
- 03
Something significant has happened — an affair, a betrayal of trust, a major loss — and you are trying to think clearly about what comes next.
- 04
You are considering separation but want to be sure the decision is the right one, and is made for the right reasons.
What to expect
The shape of the work.
01
A first session for two
After a brief consultation call, the first session is the three of us together. You describe what is happening, separately and together. We get a sense of fit.
02
A working rhythm
Most couples come weekly or biweekly. Sessions are 50 minutes. The pace is steady; the work is patient; the structure is the same as individual psychoanalytic therapy, adapted for two.
03
Toward clarity
The aim is not to reach a predetermined outcome, but to help each of you see more clearly what is happening between you — and what each of you genuinely wants from there.
Begin
The first step is a conversation.
A complimentary 20-minute consultation by phone — to hear what brings you, and to see whether we might be a fit. There is no obligation.